Too Feminist to Be Successful?

In one of my corporate roles, a senior leader had already been removed from day-to-day operations because of past inappropriate behavior. The culture was so hush-hush, so intertwined, that toxicity hung in the air like oxygen.

At one point, he made a rape joke to me. I reported it. You would think that would have been the end of it. You would think someone would have shut him down. But instead, he doubled down.

It all came to a head during a meeting with the full leadership team sitting around the table. He announced from a speakerphone in the middle of the desk, “Kellyn’s not going to like this joke.” Then he told a story about rape that insinuated it was because a woman’s skirt was too short.

No one said anything. Not one person.
No one told him to stop.

The only thing that happened afterward was that I was pulled aside by other senior leaders and told that if I pushed the issue, I would wreck my own career.

That is what silence looked like. That is what complicity looked like.

Later, another leader — a woman — told me through tear-stained eyes that I was never going to be like her. That my feminism would get in the way of my success.

I remember thinking of a quote I had heard: if you do not want to become your boss, you cannot keep working for them. And only a few days later she confirmed it, telling me outright that I was too feminist to be successful in that industry.

She was right. Not that I was too feminist to be successful. But too feminist to succeed in the world she was upholding. A world where women said, “It was hard for me, it was harder for me, so you need to keep your mouth shut.”

That was the moment I knew. I did not want to be her. I did not want to become someone who upheld the very culture that silenced me.

Out Beyond was born from that refusal. It is the place where no one has to make themselves smaller to succeed.

Because here is what I know now: we all deserve respect. Business cannot exist outside of humanity. And if you feel out of place in the boardroom, you can trust that feeling. Out Beyond is the field where you can bring your whole self, where strategy and soul finally belong together.

Disclaimer: The stories shared here reflect my personal experiences and perspectives. Details have been generalized to protect the privacy of individuals and organizations. Any resemblance to specific people or companies is coincidental.