Tim Ferriss does not apologize for his Five Bullet Friday.
Elizabeth Gilbert does not shy away from her Letters from Love.
God only knows what goes out from the Joe Rogans of the world.
And yet, so many brilliant entrepreneurs I know get the ick, the stuck, the “I don’t wanna” when it comes to sending a newsletter, even though they have such beautiful things to share.
What is that gap? What is the phenomenon?
I think it is something like an inner Grand Canyon. The space between having something to say and believing you deserve to say it.
I have watched Martha Beck coach people through this exact block using parts work (Internal Family Systems, Dick Schwartz, check it out). And so often, the part that shows up is very young. A little kiddo version of us who once felt free and playful until WHAM, something happened that taught us we had to earn the right to be heard.
Maybe it was as simple as the repeated phrase, “Raise your hand if you want to speak.” Sit quietly. Wait your turn. Let the authority tell you when your words matter.
For me, I go back to 1991, when Mrs. Overwater put me in time out for “talking too much.” If I could go back to that little Kellyn, I would tell her: Oh sweetie, you were talking just the right amount. There is no such thing as too much. I would hug her, hand her a blue raspberry Dum Dum, and remind her that her words matter far more than a star sticker proving she was a “good girl.”
Here are just a few of the things my social self once believed I needed in order to be worthy of sharing:
But the truth is, you do not need to earn the right to speak. Your voice is already worthy. Your words already matter.
The next time you feel the gap, the canyon between having something to say and believing you deserve to say it, remember: the bridge is self trust. Out Beyond, we build that bridge.
What’s the turtle step here? Think of one thing that absolutely LIT you up like glitter this week and share it with a friend who you think may like it, too.
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